


Stupid For You

by magicspills



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Christmas, M/M, baz is just mean, baz teaches simon latin, poor clueless simon, some very colorful language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 16:23:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15004733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicspills/pseuds/magicspills
Summary: Baz "teaches" Simon Latin and regrets it later on.





	Stupid For You

**Author's Note:**

> I just google translated Latin so it might not be correct, I apologize!

BAZ:

Simon Snow would have to be the most densest person in Watford. 

And I'm absolutely thankful for that, because I'm an ass. 

Now don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend very much. I just wouldn't tell him that straight to his face (because I know he isn't ready for that just yet) but nonetheless, Simon Snow would have to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. But take away the hand holding, and kisses that seem to go on for hours, I'm still the same arsehole who pushed him down the stairs and locked him a room with a polecat. And even though Simon Snow is my boyfriend, I still like to mess with him every now and then. 

“Obsecro angebant,” Snow says in Latin, slowly sounding it out. He pronounced it correctly, and I have to keep myself from falling back in my chair, laughing. “Is that how you say “Merry Christmas”?” 

It actually translates to “choke me please,” but he doesn't have to know that. Not yet anyway. I smile and kiss his cheek.

“That was a good start, now how about you try to say “magis obsecro,” that means Christmas tree, in Latin.” I say, trying to keep myself from blushing and laughing like a lunatic.

It doesn't. It actually means 'harder please’ and I thank the Gods that I haven't fed yet so I can't blush. 

He repeats what I say, in a slow, careful tone. Aleister Crowley, I'm horrible. 

“Thanks for helping me,” Snow says and smiles, he turns his head to face me and kisses my temple. “I know trying to learn Latin is stupid because I can't even speak English properly, but I thought it would be fun.” He shrugs with a sheepish smile and I have to stop myself from saying it was all a trick. 

I just want to see how far this will go before he figures out I've been teaching him dirty lingo. 

___

It’s Christmas, and Snow invited himself to join me on Christmas break, even though he knows that my father isn’t keen on Simon and I being together.

“It’s just for a couple days, and your house is huge, he’ll barely see me.” He said, packing himself a bag.

The train ride to Hampshire was boring to say the least, Snow couldn’t keep his eyes open half the trip there, and when we took a taxi, he was too busy shoving chips into his mouth that I couldn’t even understand what in the hell he was saying.

“Next year is our final year at Watford,” Snow says through a mouthful of chips. He spits crumbs on me and I sneer at him, brushing it off.

“Way to state the obvious, Snow.” I say, when we pull up at the driveway of our home. Snow smiles with a roll of his eyes. “I’m just excited is all.”

As soon as we walk in, a blast of warm air brushes my face and I hear the sound of footsteps. It's my stepmother, followed by my father. 

“Baz,” she smiles, and kisses my forehead. Daphne looks at Simon with a warm look on her face. “Simon, I'm so glad you're here with us for Christmas.”

“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Grimm,” Snow says, he's nervous. I can hear it in his voice, and his cheeks have turned a light pink. He smiles. “Obsecro angebant”

I feel my heart stop, and my breath leave my lungs. Of course my family knows Latin, of course they know what Snow just said. Simon Snow just asked my mother to choke him. My father, who had been standing on the sidelines starts coughing like crazy and Daphne's lips form into a thin line, her cheeks have turned pink by now and it takes everything in me not to cast a spell and magic myself to disappear. 

Daphne clears her throat, and smiles in a polite (and awkward) smile. My father doesn't say anything but he gives me a knowing look and shakes his head. They excuse themselves and walk down the hallway, and Snow looks at me with a confused look.

“What did I say?”

“Yeah,” I say, dragging out the word and scratch the back of my neck. “We need to have a talk.”

——

“Baz!” Snow says after I explained to him, he slaps my shoulder, his face beet red. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

I shrug, and I can't help but smile. After getting over the embarrassment, I find the hilarity in Snow's misuse of Latin. “I'm sorry, Snow, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity.”

“In front of your parents, Baz!” I'm lying on my bed, picking at lint, watching Snow pace around in circles in front of the fireplace. “Now how am I supposed to get them to like me?”

“You shouldn't care if they like you or not,” I say, absentmindedly, it's getting late and I haven't fed it. “I like you, a lot I may add, and that's good enough as it is.”

Snow huffs and walks towards me and lays beside me on the bed, I wrap my arm around him and kiss his temple. 

“That's the last time I ask you to tutor me.” He says. I laugh, playing with a curl on his head. 

“But I taught you some very useful language in the future.”

“When will I ever—” he stops mid sentence before he figures it out and I burst into laughter as Snow sits up, blushing more, babbling like crazy. “Baz! Honestly, what is up with you?”

“I guess you just bring out the worst in me, Snow.” I shrug, and kiss him to keep him from talking. Soon enough, he gives in and sighs softly against my lips, his hand tangles itself in my hair and gives it a light tug, he's doing that thing with his chin. He knows I love it when he does that. And I kiss him more and more, until both our lips are sore and trying to catch our breath. 

“You do that on your own.” Snow says after awhile and kisses me again.


End file.
